My mother left on Wednesday morning for Japan. A holiday she started packing for 2 weeks prior to her departure. A holiday she made full sure she let me know a month early that she needed the camera. She was a very excited mother.

With her leave, she left me the title of Surrogate Home-maker. And this is the note I emailed my 2 (and only 2, Thank God) favourite men in the house:

Hi Boys,

I will be doing the laundry on Saturday, which is tomorrow, so please try not to change your clothes too many times today. Oh, and please don't put your pants in the laundry. I'm not very good at washing pants and I don't do things I'm not good at so since mum's really good at it, lets leave that for when she's back. Also, if your shirts shrink/expand/lose colour/change colour/has a missing button, I suggest that you buy shirts from a better brand 'cause if the above listed happens, the shop you bought your shirt from was probably not value for money. Even if that piece cost you $XXX. After washing, I will hang all our clothes out to dry. I need whoever will be home on Saturday night to check if they're dry enough and leave them on the couch for the ironing lady who comes on Sunday.

I will also be mopping the floors and washing the toilets on Saturday, so use the toilet as much as you can now. After Saturday, use it as little as possible. Also, Dad, I suggest you switch on the lights whenever you brush your teeth. You got toothpaste all over the sink, underneath it (how in the world did you do that), on the tap, and foam on the floor. Before I could brush my teeth earlier, I had to scrape off your already dried toothpaste off the tap and sink. And VT, when you go for a piss in the middle of the night, please don't aim horizontally straight. The toilet bowl's about 45degrees or less away.

Oh, and please try to clear your own bins when it's full. I'm not very good at clearing bins either.

1 last thing. Who has been feeding Nika? Please say someone has if not our poor dog would have been starving the past day or so. Oh, and I'm giving him a bath either on Sunday or Monday so don't worry about it. I know the both of you are just so concerned about our little darling canine.

And Daddy, lets have dinner tonight. I'll be done at about 8pm. Call me.

Alright, that's all. If I missed out anything, don't let me know. Get it done.

Love,
Val


I think I make an ok Surrogate Home-maker. :) Time for bed.